I think I’m ready.
It’s taken a few weeks of preparation – quiet study and physical training.
Not like I’ve never been there before. I’ll probably know most of the people.
Got an outfit to wear: low-key, practical but not too dowdy.
Cleaned my glasses – I’ll need those. Never know who might show up. I’ve got to be able to see, use good judgement. Don’t want to get arrested.
Bra with straps that don’t keep slipping down – check.
Hand cream – check.
British Girl Groups and Kris Kristofferson albums – check. (can’t risk having to listen to Kate Bush or Bjork all night.)
It’s not going to be like back when I was sent packing from that dive Nightingales after six pathetic hours.
I’ve traveled a lot of miles since then.
I can do this.
Friday night bartender.
Mine’s a pint kiddo! Have a fun night but why no LLoyd Cole and the Commotions..?
Pint of the local brew for you Mick.
See if you can get “Balls” into heavy rotation on the sound system. And “20 Questions”. OMG there are so many that would work… Finish the night with “Better Stay Gone”.
And drink a lot and shout to the customers “Hey, everybody shut up and listen to MEEEE!”
Or “Save the Last Dance for Me”
Udderwise, excellent choices:
“British Girl Groups and Kris Kristofferson albums – check. (can’t risk having to listen to Kate Bush or Bjork all night.)”
Tho you might get more tips with a bra with straps that keep slipping down.
Oh, so that’s how you do it.
So how’d it go?
It was a quiet night! I’m customer block! I’m the Artie Bucco of bartending!
That bad, eh? I never watched the Sopranos — though an Italian-American co-worker from Philadelphia said it was like watching home movies.
This summary of Artie Bucco suggests you find material everywhere: “He is generally depicted as both an insecure fool who lacks awareness of his own flaws, and a sucker who never learns from his mistakes.”
http://sopranos.wikia.com/wiki/Artie_Bucco
Boom , as they say (really wasn’t bad at all, just quiet)
I thought it was bada-boom.
or Not-so-bada-boom.
Wonderful read…surprise finish that made me snort laugh. Write a book, Amy…you are that good.
In the revision stages David…glad you got a laugh.
This is such a fun post. There is nothing in the world worse than bra straps that slip down.
Thanks Samantha. I’ve mostly found it a problem while playing guitar, but wedging the guitar strap in the right spot on one shoulder is handy…
Love the detail about the bra straps, especially on the second read – knowing what the arms will be doing all night. I could never be a bartender, unless it was all wine, beer, and 7&7s.
No hard alcohol, no mixology required so it was really very easy. Just had to make sure not to spill beer and wine on the books (it’s a bookstore too – spent most of the evening passing “Harvey Pekar’s Cleveland” around the bar)
Thanks for reading and commenting – your blog makes me wistful for those motherhood days of yore…
I was a bartender for a while. Trust me – a night of Kate Bush beats having to listen to “Lady In Red” on the jukebox over and over and having the local creeper ask you to dance to it. *ick*. LOL Make mine a double!
Yes, luckily those “Lady In Red” days are long gone.
It was great fun reading your blog! Thanks for stopping by here – I’ll be back over to “visit” you.